I have noticed that so many families today are considering co-sleeping as “the only one solution” when putting their little ones to sleep. If you are one of those parents, then I will answer to you why you should not co-sleep with your child. And not only this…
I am also going to suggest you another much better solution…
Quite often I hear parents saying: “My baby hates his crib”, “she wouldn’t sleep in her bed”, “my son needs me all night”. Why?!
Many parents find it easier to share the bed with the child especially when he resists falling asleep in the crib or wakes up multiple times during the night. Even though it’s so exhausting to sleep next to their little one, moms and dads normally believe that it’s not going to continue for long…
It starts with a few days which turn into months. The months become years and that creates a continuous struggle…
Just think for a second, what is the best gift to the young child?
Who is the first person that your little one recognized when he started his life?
I bet you know the answer… It’s You, a parent!
And here is my question to you…
If you decide to give the best gift to your child, how can you take it away later?!
If you choose to co-sleep with your kid and believe that one day he will eventually sleep alone, you will be disappointed…
Don’t assume that your child will just decide out of nowhere to stop sleeping next to you on a huge and comfortable bed that he became familiar with!
The truth is that the longer you will wait the harder it will be to transition your kid from your family bed to his own! Even worse is that this transitioning will feel like a punishment which nobody deserves…
In addition to that, co-sleeping brings other problems too:
Bed Sharing Disrupts Everyone’s Sleep!
Having your baby in bed with you may seem like a great way to bond but a few nights of everyone getting an inadequate sleep will just leave you and your family irritable and exhausted.
During normal night-time arousals, children often kick, roll and moan. They even complete several full head-to-toe rotations before the night is gone.
Children sleep cycles never coincide perfectly with those of their parents because adult cycles are longer than children. Each person’s periodic arousals disrupt the sleep of the others in the bed; the more people, the more disruption.
As parents sleep less deeply, they often experience difficulties to return to sleep.
Research involving 277 mothers and children done by the University of Maryland School of Medicine and the University of Maryland School of Nursing found that mother who co-sleep with toddlers reported symptoms of stress, depression, and anxiety. https://www.umms.org/childrens/news/2017/research-shows-that-co-sleeping-with-toddlers-can-impact-mothers-mental-health
Children who co-sleep with their moms and dads also have interrupted sleep. They tend to have more night awakenings than those who sleep on their own. Especially young babies wake up multiple times because they can’t resist the smell of their SECOND GIFT- mom’s milk.
So, if you want your eight-month-old to stop nursing hourly all night long, keep that gift further away from him – don’t stay in the same bed!
The Research done investigating 55,831 families about their children’s sleep habits by Uni Research Health, the Norwegian Institute of Public Health and the University of California found that “one-third of the infants who experienced nocturnal awakenings at six months age, still had awakenings each night at 18 months of age. They had shorter total sleep duration during the night, and more frequent awakenings than other children”. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140828091243.htm
Bed Sharing Interrupts Privacy and Intimacy!
Co-sleeping may seem like an attractive option at first, but it will finally lead to a lot of bad habits and complications which end up costing you, your partner and your child a lot of desperately needed rest.
A good balance of parents’ relationship declines as the baby requires constant attention which is mostly provided by the mother, especially if she is breastfeeding. The dad usually feels neglected and when this continues, parents tend to go even more apart.
Also, intimacy becomes out of question and keeps the parents more separate.
Very often, if the kid can’t fall asleep without his mom being next to him, she may have to go to bed at a very early hour and be left with little time for her and her husband.
Another problem is that because of the child’s restless sleep, some parents take turns sleeping in another room so that at least one of them will get some rest. This habit always disturbs the parents’ relationship.
Bed Sharing Delays Development of Child’s Independence!
Kids who co-sleep for too long may become unable to self-soothe and may have no self-reliance abilities when something goes wrong in their lives.
Children sharing a bed with their parents can’t learn to fall asleep on heir own which is an integral part of sleeping through the night.
Similarly, if your little one does not have a separate sleeping environment at an early stage, he will not be able to handle school issues, bullying, arguments with friends and much later.
Bed Sharing Increases the Risk of SIDS! (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)
Healthcare professionals don’t recommend co-sleeping with newborns and young children who are under 12 months of age as it severely increases the risk of SIDS.
The increase in SIDS risk was greater in the youngest infants. Babies who were younger than 3 months old and slept with a parent were five times more likely to die of SIDS compared to infants who slept separately in the same room.
Among babies between 3 months and 1 year old, the risk increased by three times, according to the study. The researchers estimated that around 88 % of SIDS deaths while bed-sharing would not have occurred if the baby had not been bed-sharing. https://www.livescience.com/34531-co-sleeping-baby-sids-risk.html
So many parents fall asleep with their babies accidentally or without meaning to.
You don’t want to blame yourself for the rest of your life in case you roll over and your little one suffocates. Babies can easily be smothered by pillows and comforters or even fall between the bed and the wall.
Likewise, soft surfaces and loose covers in parents’ bed can cause suffocation. So, choose a baby friendly place for sleep – a baby cot.
If you are co-sleeping with your little one because this is the only way to put him to sleep, I have good news for you…
I can teach your child to fall asleep independently and go back to sleep independently in his own crib. I worked with many parents who had success using my gradual approach which is a great way of acknowledging your child’s concern, showing you care, and reinforcing the fact that he is not being punished. You can book a FREE 15 MINUTES Phone Consultation with me below to get us started. I will be happy to help!